that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
