First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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