Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Found your dick twin last night
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
