it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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