omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Say something about gay babies.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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