? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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