As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
