Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
