please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I wish you could order shots online.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
