'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
