making cat noises will not fix the situation.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Randomize
