The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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