I'm lost and stupid without you.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
