he shaved USA in his pubs
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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