I CAN MOONWALK!
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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