WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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