these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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