I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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