before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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