Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
