so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
