I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
