he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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