last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
