I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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