my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I love you.
Bad choice
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
