I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
You are the jesus of drinking
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
