i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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