I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
