I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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