Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
