Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Randomize
