is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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