Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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