I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
