$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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