Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
