i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
why do cheetos always look like penises
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
