first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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