brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
