Joe is yelling at the trees again.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
