it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
