Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I can tuck mytits in my pants
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
