If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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