Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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