Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
