Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
