My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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