if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
