I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
