i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
the raccoons are back...
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